


These Words in Our Hearts

by SheenaChan



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: M/M, Making Love, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 06:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18383252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheenaChan/pseuds/SheenaChan
Summary: When every moment could be the last, he wanted to treat every moment like the first…[Mentions of spoilery things for up to patch 4.5]





	These Words in Our Hearts

It wasn’t unlike Estinien to show up whenever he damn well pleased, no matter the hour of the day or day of the week. And simply because Nidhogg had left his body, Aymeric didn’t expect his long time friend to change overnight. The man had always been a lone wolf, never truly accepting company, even when it was so generously given.

Still, a part of Aymeric always wondered why the dragoon would always make himself at home in front of the fireplace without so much a word… And in the middle of the night, no less.

“By the fury, must you always do this?”

“Your security is lax, my lord.”

It wasn’t, and they both knew that. Estinien simply knew the place inside and out and had always been welcome to come and go as he pleased. Aymeric sighs, but he smiles anyway.

“Would you care for some tea?” He asks, “I know not where you’ve been but I at least know you’ve had to brave the cold of Ishgard in the dead of night.”

Aymeric waits, watches the light of the flames dance around Estinien’s silhouette, watches the subtle up and down of his shoulders as he takes slow, paced breaths. Estinien turns his head to look and gives Aymeric a small smile, wordless.

Aymeric goes off to fetch the tea.

 

-

 

Sitting back in his chair with a steaming cup, Aymeric takes in the beauty of the room, golden light flooding the area with Estinien’s profile traced lovingly so by it. He watches as Estinien takes in the aroma of the tea, as he takes a sip, and he feels the warmth in his heart as if he had taken the sip himself.

“Is it to your liking?” Aymeric asks, indulging in the drink as well.

“Aye, it has been a while since I’ve been able to sit and enjoy a warm beverage.”

“I presume the sands of Gyr Abania don’t lend much in the realm of moisture.”

“Not particularly…”

Aymeric enjoys the peaceful lull. Knowing his companion was never one for many words, he always felt comfortable simply sitting in silence with Estinien. The crackling fire was enough for him.

“I’ve heard word that Ishgard will be aiding on the front lines.”

Aymeric had to wonder sometimes just where Estinien had to perch to hear all of these goings on. They didn’t have time to talk much, especially not these days. In fact, Aymeric wondered why Estinien had come all the way back here in the first place, he should have known the operation would be proceeding swiftly.

“Ah yes, we leave in the morning. I take it you’ll be joining us.”

“Such is the plan. I will be looking out for as many as I can.”

“I appreciate it a great deal, my friend. However, try not to get into too much trouble,” Aymeric smirks and Estinien scoffs into his tea.

“That all depends on what the Warrior of Light decides to do. We shall take it from there.”

Aymeric can't hold back his smile. It makes him proud to know that Estinien still looked out for the Warrior of Light and his companions even now. He always thought to encourage Estinien to join up with them again but he knew his advice would fall upon deaf ears. Or rather, stubborn ears. He knew the path that Estinien had chosen was the correct one for him, but a part of Aymeric always worried about Estinien feeling alone.

Perhaps that was why Estinien found his way here this evening…

“Well yes, they certainly tend to get themselves caught up in strenuous circumstances, but they’ve never let us down before.”

“Aye,” Estinien says definitively as he sips back the last of his tea. He places the cup down in the saucer that had been left beside him on the rug and relaxes back a bit, stretching his neck and rolling his shoulders. His armour scrapes and clanks against his movements and it’s only then that Aymeric realizes he’s still wearing all those heavy plates.

“Mayhap you ought to drop some of that weight,” Aymeric comments, but he knows his friend. He knows he’ll never drop his defenses, especially not on the eve of war, no matter how far away the fighting may be. Which meant that he had to be shown. If Estinien expected him to get some sleep, then Aymeric would make sure the dragoon would have the same amount of rest.

Aymeric rises from his chair and quietly steps over to Estinien, nothing but the creak of old floor boards and the roar of the fire could be heard. Aymeric kneels down behind him, taking hold of one of the armour clamps and releasing its grip on the tired elezen.

“And what do you suppose you’re doing?” Estinien asks, the regular dryness in his voice but Aymeric knows there was no opposition there. He simply smiles.

“Lending you a hand. These clasps have always been difficult, have they not?”

“Hm, you would know now, wouldn’t you?”

Aymeric recognizes being teased when he hears it, but that doesn’t stop him. For all he knew this had been Estinien’s plan from the start, the shifting in his armour all but a clue to get Aymeric out of his chair, but he didn’t much mind. Whatever he could do to help make Estinien’s life a little bit easier, he would do so in a heartbeat.

Now free from his chest piece and gauntlets, Estinien gives his arms a full stretch and even from behind, Aymeric can already see some of the stress slipping away.

Aymeric knows well the weight that Estinien has carried on his shoulders, not simply in armour but in everything that has gone on in his life. Every battle and every loss has piled on top of him ever since he was a child but he always kept going, never did he stop, which is why Aymeric never had any reservations about letting Estinien know that he could let it all go, at least for one night before the weight got heavier in the morning.

Reaching out, Aymeric places his hand atop the one Estinien was using to rub at his neck. This was his signal, and Estinien stops what he was doing. He lingers a moment, gently touching his fingers against Aymeric’s, as if to confirm this is what was happening. It was.

Estinien drops his hand to his lap and rests back into Aymeric’s touch, the knight sinking his fingers into the tense muscle and slowly working out the knots. He moves in closer, his hands roaming over neck and shoulders, over arms and back again to run his fingers through Estinien’s hair. Estinien lets out a soft groan that leads into a relaxed sigh. Aymeric was well aware of how much he loved being touched like that.

He finally closes the space between them and embraces Estinien from behind, warm and strong. Aymeric places a kiss along his jaw line.

“How I’ve missed you,” Aymeric whispers against his skin. Estinien doesn’t respond, electing instead to tilt his head, revealing more of his neck and allowing more of himself to be touched. Aymeric obliges, kissing softly and nipping a trail up to his lips where he hovers, waiting for that permission, waiting to lock onto that searing gaze. Estinien looks to him, their breaths mingling, shaking, edging against anticipation until finally Estinien closes the gap.

Estinien was always a bit rougher in his motions but no less precise, and it was that precision that always left Aymeric weak in the knees. He was thankful that he was already sitting.

“I’ve missed you, Aymeric,” Estinien whispers huskily against his lips, a sentiment he could feel, but words he never thought he’d hear. Estinien’s actions always spoke for his words, but perhaps uttering them at all was an action that meant even more. Either way, Aymeric got lost in the sound of it, the gruff scratch of Estinien’s voice lingering on his ears and sending shivers through his body. He couldn’t resist claiming those lips for his own.

In the back of his mind, Aymeric knows how many hours they have before dawn, knows how many he should lend to sleep but the roar of the fire and the soft patter of Estinien’s heartbeat keeps him awake, makes him feel alive. What he doesn't know is when they would be able to have this chance again, to share in each other’s company in a way nobody else could. Aymeric wants to go slow, take his time and indulge in every inch of the man in his arms.

When every moment could be the last, he wanted to treat every moment like the first…

Aymeric could feel Estinien’s hands wandering over him, becoming more desperate and tugging at his clothes. Perhaps his desire for patience tonight was to be denied, but he supposed he was flexible.

They lock eyes once again, Estinien taking a shaking breath as he reads Aymeric’s expression. He smirks, nothing cocky, simply a small smile that Aymeric has a hard time reading. A hint of shyness, perhaps? Aymeric hadn’t the time to dwell on it.

He brings his hands to Aymeric’s collar button, slipping it open, slowly, indulgently, and the knight then realizes what Estinien is up to. Lower and patiently he slips open a second button and then a third, each one unfastening more painstakingly slow than the last. Aymeric swallows back his anticipation as Estininen’s fingers graze against the waist of his pants, but it's short lived as his hands simply travel back up to slip off the shirt he had put so much work into.

His worn palms are rough against Aymeric’s skin but it was one of the things about Estinien that he adored. Every year of experience that wore in his mind could also be felt in these strong hands and Aymeric loves knowing that he’s apart of it all.

Estinien tips up Aymeric’s chin, placing a kiss there and trailing down over his neck, chest and stomach only to kiss straight back to where he started again.

“As beautiful as the first day I laid eyes on you,” Estinien whispers, another sound that shakes through Aymeric’s bones. A gentle gasp slips through his lips that Estinien catches with his own, kissing him deeply and as blazing as the fire burning next to them. Aymeric runs his hands through Estinien’s hair, feeling the softness of the strands between his fingers a few times before planting his grip at the base of his skull. Estinien groans.

Aymeric’s other hand had found its way to the drawstring of Estinien’s tunic and without even thinking about it he was making it clear that he needed this fabric off now. Estinien breaks the kiss to do just that for him, shedding his shirt and tossing it off with that impressive precision. Although it was when his shirt hit the chair that Aymeric had to laugh a little.

“We’re making a right mess of the sitting room,” he comments. Estinien can’t help but agree.

“Mayhap we move to a more intimate location,” he suggests, and Aymeric nods, getting up and guiding Estinien along back to his bedroom.

In the flurry of the moment, Aymeric had neglected to take in the sight of Estinien’s bare body, but as soon as he makes sure the door is locked it strikes him like a blade.

Aymeric’s bedroom window had always captured the full rays of the moonlight. It was one of the things he liked most about being able to sleep in his own bed but now… Now he knows this is his favourite sight.

Shining almost silver and carved by the light, Estinien stands strong, waiting for Aymeric to join him in bed. He had seen it before of course, only a sparse few times but now more than ever it makes him wish that he could go to bed like this every night.

They had never made their arrangement official. Through it all, it only came down to the fact that they were both who the other person trusted most. A fiery experiment when they were teens led to another chance encounter later in life. A tragic pause to it all when Estinien had fallen victim to Nidhogg's rage, then not again until he was cured. Since then it was simply easy. When they could, they would spend time together, whether it led to this or not. However these days Aymeric has found himself pining for the dragoon more often than not, wondering when he’d get to kiss him again, when he could touch him again and hear that voice absolutely enjoying himself.

As he crosses the room in awe of him, Aymeric holds out his hand to meet with Estinien’s chest, and the dragoon simply watches as the knight traces over the many scars with the brush of his fingertips.

Aymeric had begun to wonder how it would sound out loud to say that he loved him. How would Estinien react? Had he already known?

It’s not as if Aymeric truly had to wonder if Estinien felt the same way. He could feel it, in every touch and every kiss that he placed upon him. Especially so now as Estinien places a sweet kiss upon his head, freezing Aymeric’s motions.

There was a time before where things were rougher and swifter but it was rarely like that anymore. Every embrace was that much more tender, opting to indulge in each other and let themselves relax. The world was too cruel to toss the promise of such warmth aside.

Aymeric wants to say it, say anything, but he's unable to form the words. He simply kisses Estinien back as they shed the rest of their clothing and roll into bed together, a tangle of limbs against cold sheets.

As their kiss softens, Estinien pulls back, running his hand ever so delicately over Aymeric's body, from chest to waist and over the arc of his hip, the knight felt warmed by his gaze alone.

He is suddenly reminded of a time from years past, their first time, in fact. Estinien was a lot less suave and subtle back then. Of course he still had an air of icy coolness but he would still break when thrown off guard. Aymeric could have never predicted that he would be the cause, however. 

They were laying side by side just like now, the first time either of them had been naked with each other and all Aymeric could remember was Estinien's thousand yalm stare and him muttering under his breath.

_ “I hadn't thought you'd be this attractive.” _

Aymeric remembers laughing then but he wasn't laughing now, merely smiling while being caught under that intense gaze.

“After all these years, you still surprise me every time,” Estinien says, cupping Aymerc's face and caressing back into his raven locks.

“If I recall correctly, you were too nervous to touch me,” Aymeric teases and Estinien can only chuckle in agreement.

“How time changes us…” is all Estinien says before he claims Aymerc's lips in a searing kiss, delivering with it a bold touch over his cock, leaving Aymeric no choice but to moan deeply over the sudden contact. He feels Estinien smile against his lips, surely satisfied with himself but Aymeric was more than happy to indulge him and repay him in kind.

Still feeling Estinien's hand against his face, Aymeric turns to nip at it gently, once, twice, until it becomes free enough to let him slip one of Estinien's fingers between his lips. The man ceases everything he had been concentrated on to watch Aymeric make work of his hand, running his tongue along the length of his finger and suckling at the tips.

“Aymeric…” Estinien whispers, utterly breathless and enslaved to his passion. He closes his eyes and the knight rests his forehead against his loyal friend's.

“Call out to me again…”

“Aymeric…” Estinien repeats, and he revels in the sound. “I'm going to go mad if you don't touch me now,” he adds.

“Have patience,” Aymeric whispers back, and he can practically feel Estinien hit against his breaking point, but he wasn't yet done with getting to know this body all over again.

Aymeric lifts himself and hoists a leg over Estinien so that he has him pinned underneath him and Estinien writhes for contact. The buck almost even makes Aymeric lose control but he manages to hold back. He becomes far too preoccupied with the beauty beneath him anyway.

Estinien’s chest heaves up and down, his lips parted. Silver locks are strewn about the pillow and his skin is flushed to the tips of his ears. Aymeric smiles down at him, another memory coming to mind.

“Have I ever recounted what was running through my mind on that first night?”

“No,” Estinien manages to get out, he seems interested but also on edge, still trembling for more.

Aymeric leans over him, close enough that his hair brushes against Estinien’s face.

“I thought I was the luckiest boy alive getting to see you, all of you, and lay with you no less. I thought I’d never see anything more beautiful and I’m happy to know that thought still remains. Happy that I…” Estinien interrupts him with a soft kiss. “...Still get to see you like this,” he finishes in a whisper.

Aymeric doesn’t wait for a response, doesn’t need one, for Estinien’s lips are far too tempting, as well as his neck, his chest… And even lower still.

Estinien lets out a deep moan when Aymeric finally touches him, tastes him, taking all of him in his mouth and Aymeric can’t help but mimic the sound. He feels Estinien’s legs shifting on either side of his head and he takes hold of one of those strong thighs to help keep him steady. Aymeric drags his lips up and down, trails his tongue along the length and laps at the tip, glancing up to steal the sight of Estinien in utter ecstasy, soft gasps escaping into the quiet room.

Aymeric loved this part. Loved being able to watch Estinien be free to the joy of it all, loved knowing that he was able to share in this gift with him.

He firmly drags his lips away, feeling Estinien tremble for more under his touch. Aymeric wants to give him more but he finds himself distracted by other parts. There are far too many places he has yet to rediscover. 

Aymeric lays his lips upon Estinien’s thigh, nips at the skin and continues to explore every area that prompts Estinien to make that delectable sound. He presses his fingers in to feel the muscle, moves his lips to give attention to the other side.

Estinien is a mess of groans and gasps, and his hips develop a mind of their own, signaling Aymeric to where his lips should return. He smiles and obliges, taking in his length once more. He’s not back for long before he feels Estinien’s hand cup his face.

“Aymeric,” he huskily says, “...more. I want to feel all of you.”

Aymeric hadn’t been certain that they would go so far this evening. Sometimes just the closeness was enough but other times they simply had to push their limits, and it had been far too long since they had done so.

“As you wish,” Aymeric says, reaching to his bedside table to pull out a salve he kept around for these very moments.

Estinien rolls onto his side and Aymeric presses his body against his back, making sure his friend is cradled safe in his arms before reaching down with warm slicked fingers to enter him.

“Ah, yes,” Estinien breathes, resting his head back against the curve of Aymeric’s neck.

“Every sound you make drives me mad,” Aymeric whispers against Estinien’s ear, bringing his free hand up to touch at the lips that uttered such sweet melodies. He takes Aymeric’s fingers into his mouth in response, leaving the knight no choice but to release a hot breath.

“I assure you the feeling is mutual,” Estinien says once his mouth is less occupied and grins against Aymeric’s fingers.

Beyond that moment Aymeric’s mind becomes a flurry of heat and desire. Estinien pushes against his hand, asking for more without words and Aymeric is certain he’s ready.

Slick and sweaty as they both are, Aymeric makes sure to make use of more salve before he pushes inside, slowly, delving deep and they both let out a deep groan at the sensation. Estinien feels tight around him, but with the sounds of utter pleasure coming from his friend’s mouth, with the way he pushes and writhes he knows all is well with him.

Aymeric reaches around to pleasure Estinien from the front as he keeps up his pace. Estinien reaches back behind Aymeric’s head to push him into a frenzied kiss. It doesn’t take much for Aymeric to reach his peak, every bit of stimulation feels like too much but it’s Estinien’s words again that push him over the edge.

“Inside of me, please,” he begs and Aymeric does as he’s requested. Estinien releases over his hand mere moments later with a sharp groan.

They stay like that for a while, entwined, catching their breath and letting the night air cool their bodies. Aymeric isn’t sure what time it is, not sure when he’ll see the telling crack of dawn through his window but he doesn’t care. He simply strokes away the bits of hair in Estinien’s face, places a kiss on each spot he uncovers as he’s lulled by the rhythm of his friend’s soft breathing.

“What I would not give for days of this,” Aymeric finally says, his selfish heart’s desire spilling out into his words.

“I could always jump you far away from here,” Estinien replies, a sleepy smirk on his lips. Aymeric kisses them.

“A tempting thought, mayhap one day.”

Aymeric indulges in their closeness for the moments they have left. He knows that they should get some sleep, that if they do so now they wouldn’t get much, but there’s an ache in Aymeric’s heart, an ache that makes him not want to let go of this moment…

...An ache to speak words unsaid.

He feels the words on his lips, he knows he shouldn’t, but he-

Estinien presses his lips against his own. Warm, soft and slow, enough to take the knight’s breath away.

“I love you, Aymeric,” Estinien whispers. Perhaps he had taken his words as well.

A jolt hits Aymeric’s heart and his eyes go wide. Had he misheard? Had he…

“T-truly?” He stammers and Estinien smiles.

“Do not tell me I’ve been giving myself for years to a man who doesn’t love me back,” he says, and Aymeric feels like a fool for being thrown so off guard. Feels like a fool for not saying the words years ago.

“Estinien,” he says, voice hoarse from the late hour, “I love you, so very much.”

And they share another kiss, sealing their words between them.

“When this next battle is over, I promise to give you those days you so deserve,” Estinien declares.

Aymeric wants to trust in those words, wants them to fuel him through the next battle, and the next and the next until there are no more fights left to fight. Until he can look upon a sunrise without worry. 

Until then he clings to this moment, clings to Estinien, his long time friend…

...His lover…

“I will hold you to that…” he replies.

When Aymeric glances at the clock he thanks the heavens that there are still hours before dawn.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Sooo that was my first 14 fic, haha! I just woke up one day and was hit by a lot of emotions and I couldn't get this scene out of my head so here we are nearly 4k words later. I haven't seriously written in years so I'm a bit rusty and I hope it turned out alright ;-;
> 
> At the very least we can all agree that Aymeric and Estinien are perfection<3


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